Logline Hospital (powered by Script Pipeline)
An effective log line - short, catchy, intriguing - is a key to enticing others to take a look at your script. However, writing a great log line isn't as easy as it looks, so to help you get more attention for your scripts, we created the Logline Hospital, powered by our friends at Script Pipeline. Each week, Script Pipeline will pick two needy loglines from the scripts with the most votes and give them an Extreme Makeover, Talentville style.
No scripts are currently entered, so if you have a script that you think could use a Logline rewrite, enter it for just $5 TalentDollars.
Then, get all your friends to vote for it, and maybe yours will be chosen for a makeover.
The waiting room is currently empty.
Be sure to look through the nominated log lines and vote for the ones you think are most in need of a stay in the Logline Hospital.
Pilot by Fran Hajat
Released on January 22 2015
An anti-poaching investigator finds that both mermaids and monsters exist beneath the surface of the Great Zambezi, a discovery that may cause the destruction of the rural community.
Before Treatment:
An anti poaching investigator discovers that hidden beneath the surface of the Great Zambezi are both mermaids and monsters, who frustrated by the restrictions placed on them and their people by modern society, seek to re-establish age-old traditions and beliefs. Will this cause the destruction of the rural community already torn apart by historical and political rifts, or can Tembi help resolve the situation and preserve the future of the area.
Stump by Deleted Member
Released on January 22 2015
Looks fine!
Before Treatment:
When a blue collar mechanic suffers a horrific accident, his housewife is left to care for him, but things take a dark turn when she is not able to make ends meet and decides to turn a profit from his disability.
THE 4th STEP by Stan Borley
Released on January 22 2015
A former addict and drug dealer relives the dark adventures of his past as he struggles with the soul-wrenching task of rehabilitation.
Before Treatment:
A onetime substance abuser and criminal reflects on his perilous journey of degradation, recovery and redemption.
Turnabout by Mike Scherer
Released on January 22 2015
Looks fine!
Before Treatment:
An alcoholic ex-Marine, arrested for a series of murders, escapes from the FBI to prove his innocence and prevent the assassination of a man he hates.
The Alien Diaries by Glenn Devlin
Released on December 10 2014
A book collector stumbles across a series of diaries chronicling an alien visitation in the 18th century, leading him down a potentially dangerous path and forcing him to uncover the mystery of what really happened. [based on synopsis]
Before Treatment:
While appraising old and rare books at a restored colonial plantation, a book collector stumbles across a series of diaries that chronicle an alien visitation in 1781.
BEND OF THE RIVER by Kirby Timmons
Released on December 10 2014
Two amateur treasure hunters embark on a quest to raise a 200-ton riverboat from the bottom of the Missouri river, racing against a treacherous archaeologist who has his own plans for the relic--and the priceless pre-war artifacts it holds.
Before Treatment:
Two amateur treasure hunters risk everything in a dangerous quest to raise a 200 ton riverboat from the bottom of the Missouri river, racing against a treacherous archeologist, only to clash themselves over how to preserve the priceless pre-civil war trove of artifacts they find.
What RU Wearing? by Aiona Byuwek
Released on December 10 2014
A college nerd falls in love with a woman online, but things take a bit of a turn when he discovers she's old enough to be his grandmother, forcing him to reconsider their budding relationship.
Before Treatment:
A college nerd falls in love with a beautiful woman online, only to find out she's old enough to be his grandmother.
The Visitors:Genesis by Gene Salvitti
Released on October 13 2014
[looks fine]
Before Treatment:
In the dark days following World War II, two inseparable brothers become deadly enemies after they survive their PBM's loss in the Bermuda Triangle.
The Pending Things by Alejandro Morales
Released on October 13 2014
Four senior citizens escape from a Minneapolis nursing home to help their dying pal, expecting to have one last big fling, but their plans are interrupted by a mysterious "angelic" stranger.
Before Treatment:
Four seniors escape from the nursing home in Minneapolis to help their dying pal, and expecting to have one last big fling. A mysterious stranger appears in their route... an Angel?
Conditional Love by Barber Sesay
Released on October 13 2014
A woman leaves her lover because he can no longer support her financially, but when she opts for a billionaire's son, she begins to doubt her decision--was her former beau truly poor, or was it all an act?
Before Treatment:
To Fati, her lover, Aziz seems to be the poorest man on earth because she cannot help her financially. She is leaving him for a billionaire’s son, Desmond. Is Aziz indeed poor?
Speed Date Prom Match by Gail Clifford
Released on September 08 2014
Four high school friends without a date for prom resort to speed dating, ultimately resulting in a bigger plan: speed dating for teens.
Before Treatment:
When 4 BFFs have no date for prom, they resort to speed dating.
Inhuman Nature by Chidi Ezeibieli
Released on September 08 2014
Looks fine as is.
Before Treatment:
A troubled teen from a family of shape-shifting leopards must battle alongside her estranged father to overcome evil forces determined to destroy them both.
BUST by Jimmie Pelyhes
Released on September 08 2014
A doctor in human sexuality plans to cheat on his wife to understand the dynamics of being unfaithful, but as things fall apart, he runs the risk of getting caught and losing out to a rival researcher.
Before Treatment:
Darren Kline, a doctor in Human Sexuality, plans to cheat on his wife to help understand the dynamics of being unfaithful.
Dire Straits by Gail Clifford
Released on June 19 2014
A doctor is kidnapped by a patient who, blinded by his obsessive love for her, demands she cure his fatal disease.
Before Treatment:
A doctor is kidnapped by her patient who demands she cure his fatal disease. Worse yet, he’s in love with her and if he can’t have her, no one will.
The Return of Liron Wolfbaiter by Jonathon Haberer
Released on June 19 2014
A warrior on the run learns the city he's taken refuge in is cursed and must battle ghouls in order to save them.
Before Treatment:
The adventure of Crondard Sleith a man on the run seeking refuge in a slum of an inn on a fateful night.
Pilot by John-Luke Valden
Released on June 16 2014
Two five-year-old boys discover a secret portal to a world where animals are like humans, learning a number of lessons through their visits. [based on longer synopsis]
Before Treatment:
Kids Jordan and Jesse have fun learning lessons as they sing and play along with their woodland animal friends.
The Almighty by Dempsey Tillman
Released on June 12 2014
After a demon steals the body of his three-year old son, schizophrenic Oscar Renfro, plagued by the monsters since childhood, must embrace the gift he’s denied his entire life--the power to destroy them.
Before Treatment:
After a demon steals the body of his three-year old son, schizophrenic Oscar Renfro learns that the demons he’s seen since childhood are real and that he possesses the power to destroy them. To save his wife and son, Oscar must embrace the gift he’s denied his entire life and fight the demons that have plagued him because soon the devil will come.
Tenth Hilt by michael comeaux
Released on June 12 2014
The last gritty sheriff of the West finds himself revisiting dark stories of his past while on a stakeout with a young lawman-to-be.
Before Treatment:
The last, gritty, sheriff the west has to offer is on a stake out, with a young lawman to be, when he finds himself revisiting the stories of his dark past.
Top Dog by Mike Arsuaga
Released on May 30 2014
A shape-shifting PI, with a Yorkshire terrier alter ego, struggles with the decision to conceal his identity from a spirited government agent he never stopped loving, as they team up for crime-fighting adventures.
Before Treatment:
A shape-shifting PI struggles with the decision to reveal his Yorkshire terrier alter ego to the spirited government agent he never stopped loving. During their crime fighting adventures, he has her back, her heart…and her lap.
Walking On Coals by Jen Bieser
Released on May 28 2014
A successful artist living in Europe is faced with the possible threat of breast cancer, further complicating her life as she struggles to save her marriage.
Before Treatment:
Dani, an ex-pat living in Europe is a successful artist struggeling to save her marriage while not comprimising her beliefs get faced with the possible threat of breast cancer.
LONG TIME COMING by Evelyn Agyeiwaa Benefo
Released on May 20 2014
Looks fine!
Before Treatment:
When a troubled college star falls in love with an African beauty, the past stages a comeback, threatening all he holds dear.
Rough Breed by Zachary Barrett-Quinones
Released on May 20 2014
On a college campus, werewolves, werebears, and werestags, each represent their fraternity an underground tournament, The Bout, and one freshman will boldly stand out among the rest.
Before Treatment:
Werewolves, werebears, and werestags are just a few of the hybrids living on campus. Each represents their house, or fraternity, in the underground tournament, The Bout. Not many freshman compete, but one stands boldly amongst the rest.
This is Paradise by Pedro Canais
Released on May 09 2014
A reclusive volunteer travels to Afghanistan as a contractor for the US army, but when he is taken prisoner, he discovers the incredible illusions driving American homegrown terrorists.
Before Treatment:
A reclusive volunteer goes to Afghanistan as a contractor for the American army. Soon after, he will be made prisoner and he is going to experience the worst and the best moments of his life, discovering the incredible illusions that drive American home grown terrorists.
Jack O'Lantern Moonlight by Jesse S. Gustin
Released on April 14 2014
A depressed art student learns from a shadowy government agent that a deal with the devil 400 years ago has a dark agenda for him in the present day. [based on longer synopsis]
Before Treatment:
Shadowy Government Agents seek to detain a depressed art student, while a sinister figure shapes a dark agenda for him.
Lost in Between by Steven Miller
Released on March 28 2014
When a documentary filmmaker tries to uncover the truth about the death of a childhood friend, his search leads him to the mid-point between past and present, love and hate, and what's real and what's simply in his memory.
Before Treatment:
A documentary filmmaker tries to uncover the truth about the death of a childhood friend. When DANIEL WARNER questions the death of his childhood friend, he sets out to discover the truth about what happened. His search leads him to the mid-point between many extremes; past and present, love and hate what's real and what's in his memory, life and death.