w Meow Magic by Jakob & Torn BurgosFun and clever concept Jacob!   I've not seen anything quite like this before and I think the appeal is there for little girls ages 8 to 12.   If you want to go for the 6 & 7 y.o., then you will need to rework some of your words.   They are a bit too sophisticated for kids that young.   Where you excel is with your visual writing - so well done.   I was able to see clearly in my mind what it would look like on TV. Concept: Cute very unique c...

Thank you Evelyn for inviting me to review your script.   I'm not sure I've been of help to you in increasing your page count.   I'm pretty much going to tell you to go back to square one with your script.   I know that seems harsh, but you need to decide whose story you are telling, because you have three distinct stories and it really muddles the entire script.   If it turns out to be Beth's story, then everything in your script needs to be about Beth and she needs to be active throughout and ...

Lisa, pat yourself on the back for completing your first script!!  No small feat and you should feel very proud of yourself.    I know you had said you've been out there circulating your script and have a producer interested.  I admire your courage and the confidence you have in your story, but we only get one shot at it when someone is interested and our scripts have to be at their very best when that happens.    I know you may not want to hear this, but Nebualeozsa isn't ready to be seen yet.  You'...

Wow Lyndon, I wish my first drafts were this clean!   You have a very good start here, but it will take some work and more rewrites to make it less predictable and to add more uniqueness to it.  When I finished it, I was left with the feeling that I've seen this story before and more than once.    I really think you need to switch the story to New Eden, as I found the way you set up the society fascinating.  There is nothing new or different about Old Earth that hasn't been done a dozen times before. ...

Congratulations Aram!  I think you have a really fun idea here that the tween and young teen audience will love.   My kids have long passed the stage of watching these kinds of shows, so I'm not sure what's on TV now.   I'm betting this is a fresh and unique approach.   I really love how you have brought in today's technology and made it a character in your story.   I love the apps and I really really want the Transmorph app!   Really great job and now you just need to clean it up a bit.&nb...

Nice job Michael with your TV Pilot.   I think it has potential and can be a lot of fun should it get made.   You need to tighten it up a bit more and definitely need to pick up the pace early on.   I've never reviewed a TV script, so I'm not sure on formatting and won't comment on that.   I enjoyed it and it was an easy read!  I have some page specific callouts below in the detail.   Good luck with your script and I look forward to reading more Fraidycats scripts as you get them ...

Congratulations Alex on your script and for having the courage to post it here for reviews.   I know that you said you have made a lot of passes over it and I applaud you for that.   It does pain me to tell you that it requires a bit more work before it is industry ready.   My main callout for you is that your story lacked focus throughout.   It felt a little all over the place - both the story and the characters.   I couldn't figure out what  story you were trying to tell - a young man rai...