Hey Jim. Thanks for posting your screenplay for review. I've been away from Talentville for quite some time and actually took a while to find the screenplay I wanted to read for my first review. Normally I would pass on one of this page count, but your strong concept intrigued me and I jumped right in. Now, keep in mind that any of the running notes that follow the review are meant to be picked like fruit at the market. Keep what you like, and disregard the rest. This is your screenplay, and you make the call on what changes to make.CONCEPTI re...

Thank you Stephen for allowing me the opportunity to read another of your screenplays. I've toyed with the idea trying an animated feature but haven't to date read enough produced animations to get the gist of what's expected.What I found most interesting about this screenplay was that it wasn't the standard north american cartoon. The mood, complexity and themes were more in line with some of the Japanese animations like Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke by Miyazaki, also A Monster In Paris by Bibo Bergeron. I find that the style allows for ...

Hey Mike, always a pleasure to read your material. I read your original pilot a while back. To recap, I was the one who suggested making it a child-friendly Nick-type series. I'll review this one based on a mature rated series.I think you are hiotting me with two extremes. I am exhilerated by the absolutely hysterical Mike the Skull - Dustin relationship. Their situation is a comic treasure. On the other hand, I am being underwhelmed by the other players in the story, namely Rowan, Trina and Karolina. They are all there, but that's all the...

Hey, Ray. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to read your stuff. To begin, the reason I chose to review the Pinocchio Project was the concept as illustrated by your logline - caught my attention. Nanobots to treat violence through alteration of memories? Hell yeah, that's cool, especially when you extrapolate all of the off-shoot applications and possible misapplications.I will, however, suggest that you change the title. It is based off of a quick metaphor metioned once in the story but really doesn't act as a suitable descriptor of the...

Some people are just incapable of writng badly. These are the kind of reviews that make me skittish, because there isn't much to critique. It's 60 pages of quality material that kept me gripped throughout. I would like to pad the length with nit-picky ideas but you leave very little room for me to do that successfully.Spoiler alert, of course. And anyone reading this review, please stop if you have not read the screenplay yet. Next, go read it and enjoy.You are very consistent with the way you create your pilots. I've noted that others find it ...

Thank you, Stephen, for the invitation to read your screenplay. Though I must admit, I may not be up to the task.Generally, I'll sit down to read a screenplay and set my mind to autodetect things like classic act structure, plot points/story beats, character arcs and all those fun little things that make a story. Yet here you come with a screenplay that, while exceptionally well-written, offers little in the way of a traditional story.I think the title I chose for this review is more than apt, given surreal ability you have to bring characters ...

What's there to say about a thirteen page vignette? Well, not a whole Hell of a lot, pardon the allusion.   I read the log line and, being a History and Political Science Major, drooled at the tempting fare. What an odd subject, I have to read it.Mood. Loved it. I felt like I was there on that drizzly day. Gray, sombre despite ambient noise. Although you could enhance my senses even further and give me a sense of the sound inside the restaurant. Light music? Was there no music, sounding almost cafeteria-like? Did cigarette smoke hang heavy...