Savior is a fun and well written script. “Be careful what you look for and expect in life, because you will either find it or create it.”The whole thing was easy to read and I did so very quickly. I also loved the struggle between father and son and inventors and the evil government.  Some of this was a little predictable but for the most part you pulled off a good story.  Lots of tension. This is regarded as Christian sci-fi and it’s a hard sell.  I wrote one a few years back.   It got lots ...

Wow, another TV episode.  I see this is based on the short story by the same name.  I sure hope you have his permission to write this.  I’m not the best at reviewing, but I’ll do what I can.   I like to break my reviews down into parts.  Please don’t take any negative comments to heart.  I’ve noticed a lot of new writers will do that.  A review is someone’s opinion, not the gospel.  Most of the time I don’t change anything major unless I’ve had at least three...

TV stories, the newest craze.  When I first signed up here you hardly ever saw one of these.  Now it’s the biggest thing around. With the impending strike looming, maybe some of you people will hit the big time.I was assigned The 2nd Law, episode 1.  Very science fiction.  Traveling through different dimensions can be hard to write and even harder to follow if not written correctly.  I have to admit, there were parts I re-read more than once.I’m not the best reviewer, as you can see by my review score. ...

A crime Drama short I’d like to see made.  Nobodies was an enjoyable read about an oooppps moment between two completely opposite characters. The interaction between the two men was good and I think you portrayed them both well.  You do have a lot of dialogue, but it works.  There is no need for a whole lot of action since everything is right in front of us and Jerry is trying to talk down a frantic and unstable guy.I really can’t find a whole lot wrong with this story.  Actually I didn’t find much at all.&...

Voodoo at its best.  I thought this was a really cool concept, voodoo in a Midwestern high school.  I didn’t read anything too gory or too graphic.  In fact, I think this would do very well in theaters even with an R rating. The story was put together nicely.  At first, I wasn’t sure I liked the beginning.  After reading a second time, I decided it probably is best because it sets the whole tone for this story.  Voodoo movies have to have this weird, otherworldly type tone to them.  That&rsquo...

Mary Ann, a look into the future.  This could be a good film teaching a lesson about the evils of cloning.  Frankenstein was a novel about the evils of too much scientific experimentation on the human body, in other words, doctors playing God.  But as written this story falls way short.You need to go back and address the typos and wording you use.  There are many problems which takes the reader out of the story.  You never want to do this.  Once you lose the reader, it’s over.  To be honest, I almost put...

Bad Madison, the beginning.  This is a very unique and intriguing story; fairly interesting characters and definitely interesting circumstances. Westerns are popular, no matter what Hollywood says, and I think this might do well also. I was a little confused at first as I thought this was a short film.  If this is for tv it needs to be formatted correctly.  Webseries maybe?  I don’t know your intentions but you may need to figure it out before you get more reviews. The note about the Indians speaking their na...