Total # of Review Ratings: 13
Average Review Rating: 3.77

Ratings: 3

Score: 3.00

Dusty's Doghouse

Screenplay • 82 Pages | Adventure, Animated

A Return to the classics

Posted: Feb 16, 2013

While the story starts out perfectly I have a feeling you lost focus rather quickly into the script. We should be following either Ashlee or Buster almost at all times. The additional dogs that follow Buster should be side characters in this tale.When Buster leaves the club I started to lose interest because I actually felt connected to Ashlee and Buster's relationship as brother and sister. Later on in the story when Dusty finally comes into the picture we're taken by surprise as some themes are introduced. Possibly taking advantage of a young...

Ratings: Not yet rated

Family Guy

"What Happens in Vegas May Have Relevance Elsewhere"

Sitcom • 35 Pages | Animated, Comedy

Vegas: Funny, but familar

Posted: Feb 16, 2013

Overall the script was well written. I don't think you have to worry about any structure or formatting issues. I understood what you were trying to say and allowed me to focus soley on trying to find jokes.The first few pages of this script lack the hook to keep me interested. Any jokes that do make an appearance are drown in an awkward open. With that being said as soon as Peter comes home you start to hit your stride.Almost everything that happens around Peter and Lois is done great. The setting is familiar, but the jokes are funny. The Brian...

Ratings: 4

Score: 3.50

3D

Short Script • 21 Pages | Mystery, Suspense/Thriller

Short and Solid

Posted: Feb 16, 2013

The idea of a man on a pier intrigued me enough to keep reading. That's always a good sign. I haven't read many short scripts, but this one seems to packed with enough movement that I wouldn't feel bored. The action is well written as well. The beginning had a bit too much action trying to set the picture which I felt was already established by the dog and man on his phone.Another issue I had with the script was that when explanation behind the event. Let it work out as a mystery rather than try to explain some other world where these people ma...

Ratings: 3

Score: 4.33

BEYOND HELP with Handy Andy

"Super Nanny Andy"

Sitcom • 37 Pages | Comedy

Magic Play

Posted: Feb 16, 2013

As with the first episode of Beyond Help, Andy is a classic character. This second episode proves that you can move on in the shows world and write different families. This family felt familiar enough associate with, and wacky enough to make fun of. These are the kinds of things you look for as you continue to watch shows. "Can they keep making it interesting?" This is a compartmentalized show so the only thing stopping it is how many different families can you think up.The concept for this episode was new. It wasn't just about "Hey, let's foll...

Ratings: 1

Score: 4.00

TSA

"PILOT"

Sitcom • 33 Pages | Comedy

Odd ball pilot

Posted: Feb 16, 2013

This script is written well structurally, but it has some glaring flaws. The first being the vast sea of characters. You need to just scrap the idea of trying to add that many characters. Combine some of the characters if you have to to consolidate the space. The second major flaw with the writing is the dialog. Nothing seems to feel natural. It could be in addition to the amount of characters, but the first few conversations the groups have seem to just rattle off random jokes with the occasional plot thrust. We don't want to be thrusted into ...

Ratings: 2

Score: 4.50

BEYOND HELP with Handy Andy

"PILOT The Man Who Came to Help"

Sitcom • 10 Pages | Comedy

Someone help make this happen

Posted: Feb 16, 2013

The basic premise of this show interests me enough that I would willing seek out the pilot and watch the first episode. I do that with a lot of shows, but not all of them. The idea of spoofing the genre of make-over shows works extremely well when you have a character you love to hate. Andy, who in my head was played by Andy Richter, is by far one of my new favorite characters. The first person style of the show has been done before, but it doesn't matter because it works. You have a character behind the camera and most of all, it's not a crutc...

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