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Talentville Bar & Grill : Television Writers' Lounge
A show with a difference!

Ritchie Johnston
Posted July 14, 2012 8:36 PM
Hello there, I am a screenplay writer based in the U.K, over the last couple of years I have taken to writing a television series that I am now ready to pitch!

Aww where to start, well here goes The programme is called Stoned (which is a slight drug reference, but also a play on words as the protagonist's name is Rick Stone!)

Imagine, your world has turned upside down, you lost your job, your girl, your confidence and to make it worse you can't get the confidence or the inspiration to do what you wanted to do, a sad sorry situation right now imagine all that and then add a conspiracy, some dark humour and the story of a lifetime right under your nose!..... This is Just the life of Rick Stone.

I have written 8 episodes for a first season and whilst the show is fiction the inspiration for it has come from real life experience, Stoned is a dark twisted, comedy, thriller that culminates in an action packed ending.

I have made the pilot and the second episode available for perusal on here! I would love to hear from anybody with any advice on the project and the pitching process! I have always wanted to be a successful screenplay writer and I believe that this is the project that will get me started:D

I also have a facebook page: to build up some buzz, which has also lead to interest from people wanting to star in this as well!

Anyway's thanks for reading ( I know a small novella right!)

Dawn Chapman
Posted July 15, 2012 11:02 AM
TV writing can be very different, and I'm not sure what format he's chosen to follow, but I do think it needs a re-think. I've made some notes which I will pass onto Ritchie, but I don't think it needs to be explored in a public forum specifically.


Ritchie Johnston
Posted July 15, 2012 11:23 AM
Well I appreciate any feedback at this point. The Script is my first draft so I have missed a few things out I must admit, So the feedback I get here is helping to go towards any rewrites. With regards to Rick sitting at the laptop moments, I can understand that it may feel abit drawn out whilst the narrative goes on so that again is something for me to be mindful of, however the pilot only serves to introduce the character element to the story, after the pilot the arc then gets played out more from episode 2 onwards.

And as for the way that I have written the show, that was just a mechanism I used whilst developing the script so I could visualize the location whilst playing out the scene!

The show itself is something of an enigma, as I have wanted to blend the genres a bit and give it a surreal edge in a realistic environment, but if I said any more it might give it all away ;)

Dawn Chapman
Posted July 15, 2012 11:36 AM
Of course, you'll learn a lot here for sure.

And if you don't mind then shoot away.

Regarding the laptop and V.O. they only sometimes work in Feature films, and I think perhaps one TV series I've watched. I'll email you my initial thoughts.


Dawn Chapman
Posted July 15, 2012 1:23 PM
Tv, is even faster than that, you don't get 12 mins.

A pretty good system to follow, one which I have used even if you don't state it in 'acts' is.

1-4 Teaser.
4-16 Act one.
16-28  Act two.
28-42 Act three.
42-54 Act Four
54-58 Tag

There will always be some room for movement. British shows tend to be a little longer. Most production companies actually want 60 pages where as American shows most are looking for 54 ish.

Researching your target audience and market is key for TV.

But having a couple pages more in my eye is better than too little.

Just some thoughts. :)