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Talentville Bar & Grill : Ask the Expert
jjc puppy adventure scene

Cheyanne Reid
Posted February 21, 2014 4:11 PM
Act 1,scene 1: Jenny: (playing tug- a-war with Chloe.)
Chloe: (growls). “ I’m going to win this time.”
Jenny: (growls back). “ In your dreams Chloe.”
Jane: (looks up at their mother). “ Why can’t I join them?”
Alana: “ You can when you’re older.”
Jane: “ I’m 6 months mom.”
Alana: “ I said no Jane.” (Growls a little).
Jane: (groans). “ Yes, mom.”
Alana: “ That’s my girl.” (Licks her on the nose).
Chloe: (Pulls the stick away from jenny). “ Ha I win, in your face!”
Jenny: (Itches then looks at Chloe). “ You just got lucky.”
Chloe: “ Hey mom did you see that?”
Alana: “ I saw dear.”
Jenny: (Walks over to their mother). “ When is dad coming home?”
Alana: “ Soon I hope.”
Jenny: (sits next to her).
Alana: (sighs).
Jenny: “ You alright mom?”
Alana: “ Yes dear.”
Jenny: “ You just seem kind of down lately.”
Alana: “ Come with me jenny.”
Jenny: “ Should I get Jane and Chloe?”
Jane and Chloe: (sleeping).
Alana: “ No.” (Walks out of the den and turns to jenny). “ Are you coming?”
Jenny: (follows their mom).

Cheyanne Reid
Posted February 23, 2014 12:04 PM
Is it that bad?

William Rock
Posted February 23, 2014 1:14 PM
Its not a bad start to an animated kids film. You have some emotions that your target audience can relate to - kids miss their dad, mom is overwhelmed. Depends where you go from here.