Funkle Fattie

It is 1974 when we arrive at the story of the story of Peter Funkle, is that of a young prodigy with the mind of a genius but the body of an obese boy. He is too smart to be a bully, too fat to be cool and too cool to succumb to life’s pain. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a dad to take up his cause, but instead a tough-talking, no bullshit mom to defend him--not exactly a young boy’s first choice.

Peter Funkle or Funkle Fattie, Chunka Funka or Skunkle Funkle is what they call him daily, taunts and chants. But through all of this pain, Funkle emerge changed, better.

Funkle Fattie is the story of the birth of a legend. The tale may be an urban myth or the undeniable truth. Is it a factual recollection or a false memory? It doesn’t much matter because once you meet Fattie and hear his story, told through the eyes of his nemesis, Tom Greene, you will never be the same.

The story opens:
The setting is a beautiful little New England town, Ipswich, Massachusetts, 1974.
Faintly, in the distance, the sounds of boys screaming and hollering echo through the air. It’s the all-too familiar sounds of a school brawl.

As we get closer, we see a pre-pubescent, chunky kid. He is a big, awkward, gentle giant not even ready for pimples yet. His shaggy, light brown mane covers his beautiful saucer-blue eyes.
Visible under his shirt is what looks like a clarinet-type musical instrument -- it’s not clear yet. The instrument is being secured by his stretched-to-its-limits waistband. It’s beginning to edge down his belly. He guards it. Sadly, he is familiar with this routine. Once again he’s being beaten by the same relentless bullies. This time they taunt him mercilessly. One kicks him in the gut. Others pulls his hair. The boy, while bigger than most of these unsightly punks, is outnumbered and not innately mean enough to do battle with the rebel-rousers. The chunky boy finally grips a stick to attempt some sort of defense. Despite his efforts, he is soon pushed closer and closer toward the uneven rocks that line the pond. One of the bullies throws rocks at the boy. One of the rocks just misses him and pings off of the sign which reads: SALTER’S POND.

Frightened and flanked by the gaggle of boys, he accidentally slips backwards hitting his head so hard on a rock that it snaps back up for a moment before finally resting on the rocks.
He closes his eyes.

SMASH TO BLACK

MUSIC PLAYS LIKE: “KODACHROME,” SIMON AND GARFUNKEL

INT. SCHOOL ROOM-FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 1 YEAR EARLIER

TITLE READS: THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL 1973

MRS. BOONE skips to keep up with FOUR BOYS from her sixth grade class.

NARRATOR (V.O.)
There are certain people from your childhood whom you never forget. They are linked to memories, the kind that are indelibly etched in your brain. The kind that no matter how hard you resist or deny, make you who you are. Every decision, every choice you make is somehow influenced by those memories.
Several students put their gear in the coat-room. Mrs. Boone distracts PETER FUNKLE while FOUR BOYS prepare a birthday cake for PETER. Boy #4 hands BOY #2 Ex-Lax and puts it in the milk on Peter’s tray.“Obediently,” the boys join in the singing. BOY #2 puts the tray in front of Peter. BOY #1 holds the cake in front of PETER. Pete closes his eyes to make a wish and blow out the candles.

MRS. BOONE
Make a wish Peter.