GREGORY D. GOYINS

I am a dynamic figure, often seen walking on water.
I have been known to adopt starving children on my lunch breaks.
I write award-winning operas and I manage my time efficiently.
I can cook a three-minute egg inside of 40 seconds.
I am an expert in leaping tall buildings in a single bound.
I am announced via loudspeaker upon my flight's touch-down, recognized on-sight, and welcomed warmly on the streets of Copenhagen, New York, Paris and Rome.
I am the subject of numerous documentaries.
I am impervious to criticism.
I never perspire.
I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.
Children trust me.
I can putt golf balls at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
I once read Paradise Lost, War & Peace, and The Lord of the Rings Trilogy in one day and still had time to redecorate my villa in Cannes that evening.
I know the exact location of every item in my home.
I have performed several covert operations with the CIA and I taught James Bond about "Shaken, not stirred".
The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I frolic, and my bills are all paid.
I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair.....upside down.