Limnologist by day, wannabe writer by night.
Created UncleMelon.com, the 43,560th most popular website of the 2000s. I wrote the infamous bit, "How to Eat P*ssy or Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Cunnlingus But Were Too Busy Picking Pubic Hairs Out of Your Teeth to Ask " that garnered 270 million readers and 269 million happier p*ssies.
And a coveted position at --
National Lampoon as a Contributing Writer until we were all replaced with videos of frat guys peeing in their pants -- but I'm not bitter.
I've written several screenplays including Lobster Cop (a script with such a bad title that I was mocked on the street by 10 year old boys), Embrace the Suck, Sorcerer Stoned, and Jake and Theresa Go to Hell. I currently blog at PoundTheBudweiser.
