Former Denver Post contributor. Frequent contributor to humor site pointsincase.com. 3rd place in 2015 National Sitcom Contest for Bob's Burgers spec "Wharf, Do You Copy?" Taco depository. Treasurer of Spice Girl Cumin Fan Club. Idiot.
The four levels of severe mental retardation are, in descending order: moron, imbecile, idiot, and cretin. In the fall of 2009, the Texas Board of Mental Incompetency, in a precedent-setting move, established the new category sub-cretin of which I am, to date, the only member. My previous cretin designation proved woefully inadequate in categorizing a subject who emotionally bonds with a Cheeto believing it to be both his mother and the Almighty Creator.
