Posted by Harvey Jacobs
Written by Harvey Jacobs
Screenplay, 110 pages (Sci-Fi, Comedy)
Viewed by: 10 Members
Uploaded: Sep 16, 2020
Latest Draft: Sep 26, 2020
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When an asteroid the size of Texas threatens to destroy Earth, scientists bring back Moses from the past so he can part just it as he did the Red Sea. But an Evangelical preacher heralds the asteroid as the Second Coming and does everything in his power to "bring it on."
It's 2077 and a concatenation of an asteroid with a meteor in back and a comet in back of that—AsterMeteorCometoid or AMC—is on a collision course with Earth and the only one happy about it is Reverend Scofield, an Evangelical preacher and head of The Church of the Rapture and Second Coming. He believes it is a herald of the Rapture and the Tribulation and will do everything in his power to bring it on. When nuclear strikes on the AMC just make things worse, Hugh Jampton, together with Carrie Bumstead and Dr. Iva Wharton-Minoze build a time machine and bring back Moses so he can "divide" like he did the Red Sea. However, while he can divide anything water-based such as Rocky Road ice cream (his favorite), the AMC is made of igneous rock and he's totally screwed. US President McKinley—true blue down to the blood in his veins—consults his friend and mentor, former President Ronald Reagan's ear, which he keeps in a jar in his desk. They decide to send out a suicide mission. Meanwhile, Moses comes up with a solution to the igneous rock problem: he will pee on the rock, then strike the wet parts with his staff (the same one that parted the Red Sea). Unfortunately, that won't work in space because of desublimation, when water boils and freezes at the same time. But Moses fixes that problem too (What a guy!). Back in the day, astronauts took ice cream on their missions. Moses will take freeze-dried Rocky Road and he will hose it into the crevices on the AMC. Then strike the ice cream so it expands and voila! The AMC will break apart. So that's what they do, except Reverend Reverend Scofield makes his own trip to the AMC and he has a gun.