This interesting script premised on tourists caught up in an African political dispute hits the right marks early in setting up the characters and conflict but falters in the second and third acts, running longer than it needs and lacking the building momentum needed to keep the reader fully invested. Character dialogue and motivation are areas needing improvement as they do not always seem justified or clear, and structurally, more work is needed to escalate the level of tension so that it rises up to and through the third act, rather than remaining largely unchanged after the conclusion of the first act. Throughout the script, there is a feeling of potential in the situations set up for the conflict: the competing sides and their tactics, the political motivations for the secret war, the importance of having the right hostage (or collaborator), and so on. The problem is that this potential is not capitalized on fully: the situations are presented, but the events surrounding them or occurring due to them tend to occur in muted terms, or sometimes off-screen, robbing them of their full dramatic potential.