NOTES ON “SHOW DON'T TELL”
by
Jim Kalergis
Are you confused about “SHOW DON’T TELL”? If so, you aren’t alone. “SHOW DON’T TELL” is perhaps the most misunderstood phrase in the community of aspiring screenwriters.
The entire point of “SHOW DON’T TELL” is:
Don’t tell the story in dialogue!
For example… consider this scene:
INT. STARBUCKS - DAY
The boys pick up their lattes and take a seat by the window.
JOE
I couldn't believe it man! She attacked me with a damned knife!
FRED
Wouldn't have guessed she had it in her.
JOE
She calmed down and tried to make up, but I told her to get lost.
In this scene Joe “TELLS” the story in dialogue. Obviously the far better choice would be a scene that “SHOWS” the actual fight. That's the point of
“SHOW DON'T TELL.”
Don’t tell the story in dialogue.
New writers tend to get carried away with SHOW DON’T TELL and apply it too broadly. The end result is a screenplay that reads like some kind of weird pantomime exercise. For example, if you were to write…
Joe, righteously pissed off, enters the court room.
…some would correct you on the grounds you violated “SHOW DON'T TELL.”
They would have you write something like…
Joe enters the court room. He angrily shakes his fist at the judge.
…and they would be wrong. Besides it being plain corny writing, actors hate being told how to indicate their emotions. In fact, “indicating” is a dirty word for Method actors.
When an emotion can be performed by the actor, there’s no need for microdirecting on the page. Let the actor act.
Another broadly accepted rule of screenplay form that’s sometimes confused with “Show Don’t Tell” is; Keep It Filmable.
Unlike in novel form where writers have the luxury of telling their story directly with words, in screenplay form stories must be told in sights and sounds, because that’s all we can capture on film. Action lines about inner thoughts or feelings, such as…
Joe sits at the table thinking about the time he spent in Boston with Marge.
…cannot be acted out or performed, and so they have no place in screenplay form.
But don’t get to all inclusive with this “rule.” It’s important to understand that when a line in an action block can be performed or affects the performance, it is in a sense filmable.
EXAMPLES:
Fred hated Jill from the very start, but he tried his hardest to hide it.
SAM (18), who thinks he’s the best looking kid on campus but is far from it, sits down next to Jill.
A smattering of unfilmable content for the amusement of the reader can make for a better read. Of course, a little of that goes a long way, and it should fit the writer’s overall style.
EXAMPLE:
Grandma leads the way, but if she was walking any slower, she’d be walking backwards.
Once an aspiring screenwriter understands that SHOW DON'T TELL means don’t tell the story in dialog and that action lines, with few exceptions, must be FILMABLE, they can take their attention off both “rules” and write what comes naturally.
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If you’re a writer, director, producer or development pro in need of ghostwriting, analysis, rewrite, or editing services, let’s talk.
My email: screenplayrewrite@earthlink.net
Jim Kalergis
