
Share on Social Media
Description
This interesting script premised on tourists caught up in an African political dispute hits the right marks early in setting up the characters and conflict but falters in the second and third acts, running longer than it needs and lacking the building momentum needed to keep the reader fully invested. Character dialogue and motivation are areas needing improvement as they do not always seem justified or clear, and structurally, more work is needed to escalate the level of tension so that it rises up to and through the third act, rather than remaining largely unchanged after the conclusion of the first act. Throughout the script, there is a feeling of potential in the situations set up for the conflict: the competing sides and their tactics, the political motivations for the secret war, the importance of having the right hostage (or collaborator), and so on. The problem is that this potential is not capitalized on fully: the situations are presented, but the events surrounding them or occurring due to them tend to occur in muted terms, or sometimes off-screen, robbing them of their full dramatic potential.
I am the Developer and CEO of Talentville.com and I want to welcome every aspiring screenwriter who dreams of their stories being produced. In 1989, I created and co-founded Final Draft, the worldwide leader in screenwriting software.
With Talentville our goal is to create an entirely new market for aspiring screenwriters to not only improve their skills and network with other writers, but also to provide a gateway to reach and interact with industry professionals, from agents and managers to producers and production executives.
Feel free to contact me with any feedback or suggestions that you may have for the site.
Again, welcome to town.
Comments
Loading...